Hell is a Place on Earth

Nascent literature found that neurological masses could perform certain calculations at speeds far surpassing traditional computational systems. Researchers at Milton labs were working on a hybrid system which used synthetic motor cortex masses to calculate bulk matrix multipications at high speeds. A large mass was grown in a synthetic embryo apparatus and attached to a supercomputer. The supercomputer ran extremely high-load physics simulations, outsourcing the matrix multiplications to the mass. The first run was modestly successful and the literature suggested that increasing the size of the mass could exponentially improve performance. A mass sixteen times larger was grown and a similiar experiment was run; but the results were terrible. Nearly all of the matrix multiplications were performed incorrectly. Confused, the scientists thoroughly examined the mass, performing intensive connectivity tests. They discovered that the mass had developed divergently. It was no longer just a synthetic motor cortex. An entire synthetic brain system was developed with a particularly overpronounced cingulate cortex. Moreover, the cingulate cortex morphed in such a way that it covered the entire region of the computer interface bus, meaning that the matrix multiplication data was fed directly into the cingulate cortex. The researchers knew that this might be bad, as the cingulate cortex is the brain region which seems to mediate perception of suffering; but they weren’t sure exactly how bad. They brought in a neuro-ethics team to review. After a week of analysis, the chief neuro-ethicist walked in the director’s office. His face was pale like a corpse. He told that director that the neurological mass used in the experiment had the capacity to suffer in the same way that humans do; in fact, moreso, because of the engorged cingulate cortex. The matrix multiplication inputs effectively stimulated the cingulate cortex, bringing it to a very hyperactive state because of the extremely high data bandwidth. Imagine a number line that represents perceived pain severity. Stubbing your toe would be a one of this line. Being skinned alive is a ten. Now imagine going up to ten thousand. That’s what the synthetic brain region experienced. The neuro-ethicist speculated that such an experience was the worst thing that has ever happened on this planet. From a utilitarian perspective, it outweighed all the good things that have ever happened, and perhaps all the good things that will ever happen. The following week, Milton labs issued a formal apology: “We sincerely apologize for our recent experimental mishap. NeuroSafety has always been our number one priority.” The director took a two week sabbatical to Copenhagen before resuming work.